What tone is your internal dialogue?

 Do you notice that how do you speak with your partner differs from how you speak to your boss? If you didn't notice till now or if you tried to think about it but you find you speak the same way, then either you are with the wrong partner or the wrong boss. Anyhow, that's not what we are going to chat about today. We shall try to understand the way we speak to ourselves. Why? Because the tone of your internal dialogue is reflected back to your life. How? What you say to yourself is how you really see yourself. This image of you attracts equal and complement energy bodies in your timeline.

How do I attract 2 opposite things: equal and complement?

It is easy. Universe offers you what you want, that are the things that have equal vibes to yours. You can read more about it here: Events in Our Environment, are they haphazard? On the other hand, we are attracted to those who are having some traits that we think we miss in ourselves. So, if you are an introvert and you don't like this version of yourself, you would look to an extrovert as superhuman. Well, to be honest, that is not the complete story. To deify from a distance is one side of it. It might support you if you made this trait that you like but missed it a target for you. And, keeping an eye on this personality might serve you a route and a motivation to change. On the other hand, you may be comparing yourself to this different personality and then feeling angry or disappointment from yourself. That's the wicked part of you looking for example to humiliate you and to deepen the pity feeling inside you. If the relation extended to be more than just a distant honoring and admiration to be a close relation, this means that you have other common areas with that opposing personality or your are on a track of self sabotage.

What tone is your internal dialogue?

In a previous chat about internal dialogue as one of our forms of communication, read it here -> Internal Dialogue, we had proven that there are internal monologues and dialogues running behind the scene all the time in our daily life. Monologues are dramatic scenes run by the ego. While Dialogues, are a form of discussion between us and the conscious mind. This discussion can be easily detected when we remember a past event and chat internally about what went good and what went bad. It is helpful when we use it to draw a future event in a way we like it or when we ask and wait for answers. 

But, in any of these internal dialogues what tone you use to speak to your self:

• Parent who speaks the wisdom and expects his child to obey as he can know no better
• Boss or Colonel who instructs and expect full obedience
• Terrified anxious restless person  who is excessively and intrusively worrying in a way that disrupts daily functioning
• Chronic complainer who doesn't like any of what is happening in his life.
• Blaming your self for being incompetent. Usually this is preceded by a comparison to someone or an idol frame imposed by the media
• A friendly talk or discussion about what we can do together to make our life better.

Those tones are on two sides, 5 limiting and 1 helping

Let us start by the helping voice. When you discuss with subtle voice with your self, you open a door to yourself to bring its ideas to the light. Then when it feels safe it starts to speak and ask and express it self. Your shadow areas appear clear that you can discuss, tune and, change. They don't resist change because they are not forced to change or to bury themselves deep that no one even you can see them. 

The limiting speech to yourself is in general aggressive. Aggressiveness is not necessary shouting or causing pain,  it is enough to show disbelieve and doubt in what you do and say. It is more than enough to say to yourself that no one cares about what you say or do. That it has no value to anyone. This eats up your self esteem and damps any motivations. Any external empowerment wont succeed to get yourself out of the grave yard. You only can do this.

If you want to draw a sketch of yourself under attack by you, draw a little child who maybe had done something wrong whether intentionally or by mistake or due to limited capabilities and instead of discussing the issue with him you take one of this approaches:

•  Don't ever do this again without my permission - old parent shouting
• You will get punished for this, you had broken the rules - Colonel pointing with his finger
• The situation turned to be shameful, everyone felt pity for us - With a disgust look
• What we do know they will tell everyone and the police may call us, we might get fired, our parents will put us back in the dark cellar - shaking with fear
• That's your always bad luck - complaining
• You can't do anything correct, you fail every time to be like normal humans - blame and disrespect

No matter how much you try to forget those situations where you were merciless with your inner child, they are there and alive and influence your actions and reactions and most importantly they dominate your feelings. When laying there in the dark they remote control your life. They try to avoid same situation again. If they turned to be wicked energy bodies, they push you to the same situation again to repeat on of the blaming, claiming or shouting to cause you pain.You feel most of the time that you need to hide like your real feelings. You are afraid from confronting as they are frightened to death from any loud voice of dispute.

Is there an escape?

No more escapes. The real remedy not the placebo is to turn to be your real friend. A friend indeed is a friend at need. Whom can be a better friend to you than yourself. Approach your frightened, anxious, angry inner child with open hand and heart. Approach him with new deals that you commit to follow for your own sake. You can assemble what was broken in pieces along years in days and weeks but don't expect it is all done after you make one commitment. Commitment with your inner friend should be a life long agreement. Don't betray yourself by beating it hard for the sake of fake holograms you created out of thin air. It was a mistake to measure yourself according to the others scale or trying to fit in their frames. You and your inner child are unique so accept yourself as you are. That's the ground point for launching your new self. Sky is your limit as long as you are your best friend

In Conclusion,

Nothing and no one can bring you peace, safety and joy if you don't bring it to your inner child.